The Indian Entertainment Industry really needs to buck up... And I mean literally buck up!3/26/2020 I may sound like an idiot writing this but I have come to realise that the Indian Entertainment Industry, meaning Bollywood films, Bollywood music and television and what not... Are actually far behind the world. Bollywood is far behind Hollywood, European Cinema and Music and even Korean dramas, Korean music and Korean films. I would say that the only good thing in India would probably be Malayalam and maybe Telugu films. The Malayalam and Telugu Film Industry comes up with really good content. Content that is realistic and believable. They use actors who are talented. Looks come in secondary for these film industries. I would have no comments about the music since I do not listen to their music. Do you realise something? The best films in Bollywood would be either biographies... Or, they would be remakes of South Indian; Asian; European or American films. Very rarely, Bollywood can come up with a film that is of good content. Very rarely, Bollywood would ever come up with an amazing movie like Fan, which is a very relatable movie, which had amazing talent and no necessary music. Parasite, the film that won 4 Awards at the Oscars 2020 Awards Ceremony, including that of the Best Picture Award, has made me realise what good cinema is all about. Now, as I start to watch more non-Indian films, I would say that I have become way more open minded than I was before. Just sticking to Indian films has made me realise how much of an ignorant wit I was. I realised how much of a joker I was in terms of my mentality. Whenever I watch Parasite (2019 Korean Film), I just wonder, how far behind India is in terms of creativity. India, overall, does not have the same capability in creating amazing cinema as compared to the United States or France or South Korea. India definitely needs to start learning how to gain inspiration to create different, unique storylines to captivate the audience. When it comes to talent, Bollywood especially, does not care about real talent nowadays. All they care about is the looks and nepotism. The problem is that even a very talented outsider will not be given a chance to work in Bollywood. Why? Because of... Nepotism. The one thing that I like about the film industry in Europe, America and South Korea is that they focus on talent and who would suit a certain role best. They do not focus on star kids being the first priority or who the most handsome or the hottest actor or actress is... They focus on what should be focused on. The one thing I would really like about the Indian Entertainment Industry would be the music. Even if I do not listen to Indian music that often, I can't ignore it. The music production just can't be ignored. Musicians need to be noticed. And they deserved to be noticed. I love Coke Studio Pakistan, Korean music, English music, French music... I am someone who listens to music in all languages. I love listening to new tunes. And honestly, I can't compare the tunes of India to USA or Korea or Europe because every country and continent provides a different tune... A different vibe to listeners. So, it's just impossible to pick the best when it comes to music. This is my opinion. If Indian film makers really want good appreciation for their films from viewers, they have to understand the kind of content that viewers want. Yes, there are viewers who want masala content which has no logic. But then, there are viewers who also want intelligent content. And, filmmakers should know that intelligent content goes a long way as compared to masala content or the usual content.
Coming up with the usual content, for Bollywood I am speaking, will only bore viewers... Which, in the end, leads to losing followers who would watch Hindi films often. I do really hope that Bollywood starts to come up with intelligent content or something unique. I want to be mentally engaged. I want to learn something new.
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Dear Sulli, you were not a bad person. You were a bundle of joy to this world. You will be missed.3/4/2020 Dear Sulli, You may have been the little one in f(x) [Korean Girl band]. But, you have made such a great impact on the lives of your band mates and your fans. As I got back to listening to Korean music this year, just after watching Parasite (2019 Korean Film), I decided to go through SHINee's songs. Suddenly, on one of their songs, I saw a comment that mentioned "RIP Sulli"... I was again, confused. So, I searched up "RIP Sulli" on Google, and I went to your Wikipedia page. It showed that you passed away on the 14th of October, 2019. As a human being, I would feel sad that you ended your life. I did not know you well as I did not follow your music as much as I followed Jong Hyun's music. However, as I started to listen to the old songs of f(x), including that of Nu Abo and LA chA TA. I just enjoyed how you were so yourself in front of the cameras and how you were just so... Authentic. I love genuine people like you and can vouch that this world actually needs more people like you. Especially in Chu~♡, you were so cute and it just felt so relatable. The thing I love about you is that you would always let out your energy in whatever you do. You would give your 1000% in whatever you do. You are someone courageous, strong and someone who would just move on and ignore haters. This is the reason why many f(x) fans would look up to you. Because you are a strong, courageous and most importantly, a very beautiful and unique girl inside out. Whenever I would see songs featuring you in the music videos of f(x), it just becomes so hard for me to absorb that you are no more. Honestly, it doesn't feel the same without you. It feels very empty. It feels like my heart has a hole or there is a hollow space inside me that can never be filled up. Even though it has been 142 days (as of 4th of March, 2020) since you left f(x) and this world, I still cannot accept it that you are no more. You were just so full of life and I just enjoyed seeing you all the time, whether it was in new or old music videos. The moment I saw your heart-wrenching and final note, my heart bled. The note read: Today is the 14th year I debuted in the entertainment industry. I was too preoccupied with living my life and nearly forgot how long I am in the industry. But thanks to people who wish me well, I am reminded. Every moment, I am assisted by people to continue living. Due to their blessings, I have the courage to continue living and led me to feel that life is not only to be spent alone. I want to be someone who gives warmth to others and I want to thank everybody. The moment I saw this note, I already knew that you were a pure-hearted woman, who would only wish well for others. I feel sad for good people in this world, who would get mistreated by those around them. I feel sad that they get mistreated so badly that they end up taking their lives. I feel sad that they had nobody to go to for help. And that was how I felt when I heard your final words before you took your life by hanging yourself in your apartment. Sulli, you were often a target by netizens and you got cyber bullied. You were a victim of cyber bullying. People criticised you for being yourself and for being outspoken. When you said these words in your last live show: Why are you saying bad things about me? What did I do to deserve this? I broke down. I cried. My heart was weeping. I had no words. I felt guilty. My dear Sulli, I just want to tell you that you are beautiful the way you are. I love you for you. I love you for everything. I may not have known you well while you were alive, which was sad because I should have gotten to know you. I am regretting that I did not follow your stories and music updates often before. No, you were not a bad person and you will never be. Remember, it is ok to be yourself. It is ok to be expressive. It is not a crime expressing yourself. You were an artist, you are an artist and you will always be a special artist. Artists are supposed to express themselves. You were such a bundle of joy and people will enjoy you for your bubbly nature. It is ok to have feelings. It is ok to have opinions. You are a human being as well. You are beautiful the way you are and I will emphasise on this message an infinite number of times. You were a woman who would fight the break the norms of a K-Pop female star and that was what I loved about you. You are the kind of woman that this world needs. We do not need conservative women who says things like "You will go to hell if you abort your child" or women who bring other women down for posting braless pictures on social media. You have shown us what gender equality is in a sense. Gender equality is about women having the same amount of freedom that men get. Gender equality is about women getting the same leniency that men get OR the society also expecting perfection from men. Gender equality is about men and women not facing any discrimination. You were also a blessing to this world. You were a blessing because you have low-key shown us a new side of what gender equality is. You have shown us that a good human being is not defined by how he or she dresses up or what he or she posts on social media. But, a good human being is someone with good values, a good heart and most importantly, good intentions. Sulli, you did not deserve to die. You deserved to live. You intended to bring unconventional change to make the world a safer place by changing the mentality of people in the society. Like Jong Hyun, I wish that there was someone there with whom you could share your emotions and problems with. I wish that we fans could have done something for you. I should have stood up for you had I known that such things like people writing mean comments happened to you while you were airing your live shows on Instagram. You taught me that I should have the courage to do the things I want to do, provided that I do not hurt people around me and that I do not have ill thoughts. What would be the most important thing is that you have taught us that we should be who we want to be. Women should just break free and be themselves. All we have to care about is whether our intentions are good or not. Actually, let me rephrase that. The most important thing that you have taught us is that if we women want to drink, drink. If we want to colour our hair pink, colour it. What we should keep a check on would be our intentions. And Sulli, you were perfect in your own way. It was really sad that you hanged yourself. I wish you did not do it. Right now, I just want to pray to the Lord and just ask him to bring you back to earth. I want to ask God to let me be a part of your life on a deeper level, to bring you a lot of happiness and shower you with lots of love, care and peace. Sulli, you have inspired many people. You will always be remembered. You will always be loved, adored and accepted by all. ❤️ Now, you are at a better place. You are under the wings of the Lord. With his grace, you will be showered with love, peace and care. You deserve the best. 🕊 Remember, you are an angel, no matter what people say. 👼🏻 You were, you are and you will always be a real beauty to this world, no matter what people say or think of you. 👼🏻✨🕊
🕊🐿🦚🦢 29.03.1994 - 14.10.2019 💔 #ripsulli #choijinri #fxangel #meuforever Dear Kim Jong Hyun, Even though you were not the leader of SHINee (Korean Boy Band), you WERE the big brother of the group. And not just to your SHINee team mates, to your juniors as well such as the members of EXO, SNSD and everyone in S.M. Entertainment. I may have learnt about your death very late from my friend, but that does not mean that I do not mourn for you. The moment I heard about your death, I said out loud that it is not possible because you are such a happy person and you would never do something like committing suicide. An hour to two later, when I searched up "Kim Jong Hyun SHINee" on Google, and accessed your Wikipedia page, my ex-classmate was not lying. It was true. In fact, the news was not recent. That was what made me felt even more lousy as a fan because I found about your death in September 2019, when in fact, you passed away on the 18th of December, 2017... Which was just a week before Christmas 2017. I tried to not think about it as it was, is and will always be a shocking news to me. Your news was a much bigger surprise than the death of late Bollywood actress Sridevi Kapoor for me at least... Because one, you were very young and you had your life ahead of you. Two, you are one of the most talented people in South Korea that the country has ever produced. You are the pride of Koreans and the country. The moment I saw your suicide note on social media just after hearing about your death, I read it and I broke down. I cried. I could feel the pain in this letter and the amount of grief and baggage you were carrying. You endured so much you did not know what to do. Even as I am writing this post, I am crying because as a human being, I understand the pain you felt. I can imagine how you must have felt all this while while living. I wish I knew you as a friend. I wish I was there for you. I wish I could have done something for you. I wish that God could have sent you into my life or vice versa from day one. Whether he sent you to me as a life partner, a best friend or even as a big brother for me or vice versa, I would give you all the love and support. I would be there for you not just because I love your voice but because I know that you are a person who is filled with lots of love and joy inside. However, amidst the joy and positivity that you radiate out, never did I know that there was a broken Jong Hyun, who was helpless and did not know where to go. If we fans knew, we would definitely do something for our Jong Hyun sunbae*... Whether we were located in South Korea, USA, Singapore or even India or wherever. We have your back. *Sunbae is a term to refer to a senior, like how you address older people with respect in South Korea.* You have always been my role model. Not just as a performer, but as a human being as well. You probably demonstrate the kind of guy I would want in my life partner. Someone talented, intelligent, compassionate, selfless, genuine, positive, fashionable and of course, not forgetting the the good looks (Though the bigger parts of an ideal guy would be the brains, heart and the talent he has.). I wish that you were just not my role model in my life. I wish that you played a much bigger part in my life than just being my role model because you deserved much more in my life than that. My love for you cannot be expressed in 2200 characters on one Instagram post or 60K characters on a Facebook post or even 280 characters on a regular Twitter post. You are somebody I respect and admire so much that I have decided that when the right time comes, I will tattoo your name in Korean aka Hangul words, maybe on my right wrist most likely. If not maybe around the back of my right shoulder or at the back of my neck, just to remind myself that there is an angel watching above and that you will always be a part of me. Even though I may have a future partner in the future, my love for him will never beat the love I have for you, but he will matter just as much. As they say, life partners and boyfriends change. However, inspirations remain the same. The number of inspirations we have only grow and you are one of the biggest inspirations in my life. You are my angel, you are my strength. You are someone that matters to me, very much. Do not forget that you are every Shawol's* angel and strength. *A Shawol is someone who is known to be a fan of SHINee.* Coming to my ideal life partner, the qualities I have listed above are just a few of them... Jong Hyun, the number of qualities I see in you are endless. You are just a guy filled with goodness and you are someone who always tries to improve himself. Not just whatever I have mentioned, you inspire me to become a better person. You inspire me to become more open-minded, accepting, compassionate, genuine, humble and what not. The number of things I want to write about you are infinite. There is just so much to write about you that right now, my thoughts are cluttered. I do not know where to start. I feel so passionate about and for you. Jong Hyun, you give me the reason to live. You teach me how to be strong. Whenever I feel hopeless, suicidal and sometimes even attempt to take my life, it's just your spirit that keeps me alive. Hearing your songs will give me lots of energy and allow me to express myself. I may not know the Korean language. However, I do understand the emotions that you try to emote while singing. I can understand what grief, love, energy is. I can understand the emotions in your voice ever since day one, when you made your debut and breakthrough in 2008. Every time I hear your voice in any song, whether it is with SHINee or a solo sung by you, it just feels like you are alive. It feels like you are doing well and that you are present. But then suddenly, my mind tells me that you are no more... That is when my bubble would burst. That is when I know that I am living a lie. It's so hard for me to accept reality because the reality is that you are such a perfect human being inside out and you have made a great impact not just on fans, but on singers like Yoona and Tae Yeon from SNSD; Dong Hae, Lee Teuk and Eun Hyuk from Super Junior; IU; BoA; EXO and of course, not forgetting your SHINee band mates. You have made such positive impact in other people's lives that it is impossible to even think of hating you. Jong Hyun, Why did you have to end your life? Why did you have to stifle yourself with carbon monoxide poison, that comes from burning charcoal in your apartment? Every time I think of how you die, whenever the news hits me, I start crying. I am still crying because I can't imagine the pain. I cannot imagine the struggle. Jong Hyun, you deserved so much more. You did not deserve to die. You deserved to live. After hearing about your death, there is a scar in my heart. My life feels so empty without your existence, especially without your voice. Every time I see you or hear your voice when you sing or speak, I fall in love with you, GENUINELY. Truly, madly, deeply. My love for you is not the "Boy, I have a crush on you" kind of love because that type of love is infatuation and it lasts for a short period of time. It only shows that the person lacks charm, which you did not. You were a charming guy. Your eyes sparkled, your masculinity makes you confident, your lips were so precious... You reminded me of Lord Shiva*. I am a devotee of Lord Shiva and I worship Him from my heart. You had such an innocent, yet passionate personality, which is what makes you beautiful. I love passionate people and I wish you had someone with whom you could share this passion with. When it comes to your voice, I fall in love with the strength and versatility of your voice. Not many singers have the strong, emotional, versatile magic that you have in your voice. Your voice tells us a story about yourself. You open up to us fans with your voice and the emotions inside it. We have felt your passion, emotions and every single shade of you since day one. *Lord Shiva is is known as "The Destroyer" within the Trimurti, the Hindu trinity that includes Brahma and Vishnu. In Shaivism tradition, he is one of the supreme beings who creates, protects and transforms the universe.* Jong Hyun, I miss you every single day, like a crazy passionate fan. No matter how hard I try to move on to accept this news, it is hard because you have made such an amazing impact on my thoughts, my personality and my emotions... All in a positive way. I want to tell you that you have done not well, but VERY, VERY, VERY WELL! You were, are and will always be one of the most talented singers of South Korea and East Asia. You will always be remembered. Your voice fills up my heart. I am sure it fills up every Shawol's heart. For us, you will always be part of SHINee, no matter what. And nobody can take your place. We all know that now, you are in a better place. Now that you are with the Lord, I am assured that you will be taken care of with lots of love and peace being given to you. 🕊 You will always be our SHINee angel. Now and forever. 🦢 You were, you are and you will always be a real beauty to this world. ✨
🕊🐿🦚🦢 08.04.1990 - 18.12.2017 💔 #ripjonghyun #ourSHINeeangel #shawolforever Those who know me well will know that I am someone who loves to watch films, television shows and listen to music. I may have been addicted to Bollywood in the past. But however, after seeing the trailer of Love Aaj Kal (2020 Hindi Film), which disappointed me heavily, I have decided to watch less of Bollywood and watch more of English and International Cinema and entertainment. That includes listening to non-Bollywood music more. However, this does not mean that I hate Bollywood or whatsoever. I just want to become more open minded and exposed to different cultures through music and cinema and definitely accepting that Bollywood is not the best cinema in the world. It is proof that Indian cinema isn't the best because barely any of our films would get nominated for the Oscars or Cannes. Except Mother India (1957 Hindi Film), which got nominated for Best Picture for the Oscars in 1958, no other Hindi film has been nominated for the Oscars. Indian films nowadays will only satisfy people by the roadside or the common crowd. However, it will not satisfy the jury at the Oscars or Cannes, UNLESS the film has amazing content like Mother India. But yes, here is my post on why you should watch non-English films and films which are not in your mother tongue language. You learn how to appreciate amazing cinemaTo be frank, I will admit that I have always been biased and have only constantly favoured Indian Cinema. And let me admit it, I regret constantly favouring Indian Cinema. I regret it because I have come to observe that the best Bollywood films are either remakes of South Indian or Foreign or English films. OR, they are biopics or inspired from events or whatsoever. Barely any Bollywood film that is good is out of creative and engaging content. I have only learnt this after watching the trailer of Sara Ali Khan and Kartik Aaryan starrer Love Aaj Kal. And after checking out non-Hindi films, that are either in South Indian/English/European or even in Korean, it has made me realise that I have missed out on such amazing films JUST for Bollywood. Watching non-Hindi films has made me realise what truly amazing content is like. So, when it comes to Hindi films, I will watch films that either:
But yeah, other than that, I have decided to watch non-Hindi foreign films and English films more often and expose myself to different cultures and languages. You start to become more open-minded to watching good content, regardless of languageI believe that by watching films and television shows of different languages, naturally, you start to become more open-minded in the sense where you are willing to watch films and shows that are neither in English nor your mother tongue language. And trust me, by doing this, you are stepping out of your comfort zone. You get to learn a new language, you get to learn about a different culture and finally, you start to become accepting about different cultures and languages. You will begin prioritising good content over new contentHonestly, to enjoy good entertainment, the things we should prioritise would be:
NOT:
Although for some people, who stars in the show/film is important because viewers know how talented that person is and may appreciate the choices he/she makes. For me, personally, although who stars in the movie/television show is important, the most important thing for me is the storyline. I look forward to something new, creative, intelligent. I hate this boy loves girl, girl loves boy storyline... It gets boring. I look forward to new kind of storylines or maybe brutal reality. I want to be able to learn something from movies and shows that can help me in my values in real life. That can help make me more intelligent in my choices and that can make me more knowledgable in real life so that I can just have more intellectual conversations with people. You get better content in non-Hindi films than Hindi films overallI watch lots of regional Indian films whenever I feel like it, especially Malayalam, Telugu and Bengali films. One, their content is relatively better than Bollywood films. Two, I get to learn so much of a different culture. I am someone who loves being diverse. After all, everyone unites thanks to diversity. The beauty of diversity is that we get to experience so many new things, appreciate different things and then also, be proud of who we are culturally. I definitely do not intend to defame Bollywood and Hindi films and music. I love Coke Studio India and Pakistan. I love good Bollywood films. All I wish is that Bollywood would learn how to make good content films instead of coming up with the same boy loves girl stories 70% of the time at least. The audience wants something different.
And, when it comes to talent, I wish that Bollywood would take in people with talent... Not star kids who have no talent. I am fine with star kids, as long as they have talent. Such as Hrithik Roshan, Shahid Kapoor, Ishaan Khatter, Ranbir Kapoor, Sonakshi Sinha, Alia Bhatt, Saif Ali Khan and Kareena Kapoor for these instances. I cannot stand star kids who have no talent like Ananya Pandey. It's like they are a waste to the industry and people who deserve the opportunity much more than they do... They sadly do not get the opportunity. This is what makes me want to watch less Bollywood films. At least in other film industries like that of French films, American or Korean films, they prioritise talent over looks and nepotism. This is definitely something Bollywood needs to work on. Having different languages in this world is what has probably made our world a beautiful and diverse place to live in. A place where we can experience different cultures and learn about different values and lifestyles. Languages are just one part of a cultural representation. Because I have been listening to South American and North American songs lately, my appreciation for English and Spanish has increased. But then, there are other languages that I admire as much for their own beauty and how these languages stand out in their own way. For me, these are the most beautiful languages in this world. SpanishThis language is popular in:
FrenchThis language is popular in:
ArabicThis language is popular in:
HindiThe language is popular in:
BengaliThis language is popular in:
UrduThis language is popular in:
EnglishThis language is popular in: . . . The whole world, like literally. People study this language so that they can survive wherever they go. And so that they can understand the emotions shown in English films. ItalianThis language is popular in:
Persian language, also known as FarsiThis language is popular in:
PortugueseThis language is popular in:
When I hear knowledge, the Goddess that comes to my mind is Saraswati. For us Hindus, she is known as the Goddess of Knowledge, Arts, Music, Wisdom and Learning. The reason why I am wise in most of my choices today at least is because of her. I pray to her to help me in making my right choices not just in what I do, but who I choose to have in my life and the knowledge that helps improve my Intelligence quotient (IQ). Now, in general, when we hear words like general knowledge or learning, we all often think that the only way that is best for us to gain our general knowledge and learn new things is through our teachers and textbooks right? Why so? Because we often believe that whatever our textbook states and what our teachers say is correct. Ok, fair enough. But know that whoever writes our textbooks and whatever our teachers teach us is only so much. Remember, they are also learning every day. And honestly, I doubt that they read from the textbook. I believe that they learn from out of their textbooks for their general knowledge. So, coming to the main point... Why do I prefer learning the unconventional way? Here's why. Easier to gain knowledgeWhen you choose to learn out of the classroom and out of the textbook, it is easier for people to gain knowledge, especially for those who hate reading like me. It's not that I hate reading, but I prefer reading news mostly through social media and that is how I gain my knowledge. That's one part of it at least. I occasionally check out social media pages of news sites worldwide so as to follow up but I mostly get my news on Instagram pages and sometimes Facebook articles via official pages. Makes learning more funThe best thing about learning unconventionally? You get to pick how you learn. For example, how do I gain my knowledge in music out of the classroom? By watching shows like The Voice USA online. Well, the good thing from doing this for instance is that I got to learn about what falsetto and vibratos are. Falsetto is basically one's head voice that one uses to hit a high note. Falsettos are usually one octave higher than one's highest note. For example, if my highest note is a G5, I will have to use my falsetto tone to hit a C6 or a D6. One example of a person using her Falsetto voice a lot is Mia Z for her blind audition in The Voice USA Season 8, which was in Spring 2015, where she hits an F#6 when she sings "You know I'm free..." and then goes down to an F#5 suddenly. I was like wowed! And also, I've learnt what R&B is. R&B is a musical genre that means rhythm and blues. It is a genre of popular music that has originated in African American communities since the 1940s. Another thing that I have learnt is the vibrato. Vibrato is like a very quick fluctuations to a note's pitch, which is a deliberate, but controlled wobble to that note. Vibrato, in Italian, means "vibrate". Vibrato is not what you hear in Carnatic Music (South Indian Classical Music). In Carnatic Music, you will hear two notes yes, but it is not like a controlled wobble. It's more like a switch between two notes, which is obvious to listeners that it's a switch between two notes and not a wobble. One example of a singer using her vibrato voice would be Ariana Grande. Here, in this video below, her performance at the American Music Awards 2015, she has used her vibrato tone a lot to make her performance more powerful. You are learning beyond your textbook knowledge, making yourself more intellectual and intelligentObviously when you learn from out of your classroom and out of your textbook, you will be ahead of your peers. Suppose something you've never learnt comes out in your exam... You will have to answer the question, you can't run away. Suppose you never study out of your textbook and that topic comes out in your exam, you will think "Damn! I should have studied out of my textbook. Why didn't I do it?" One, you will feel ignorant knowing little things. Two, you will face less problems gaining more knowledge beyond your textbook. You know, my science class never taught me that materials like plastic and things like oil and water are used to make our clothes that we wear every day? You get to learn such knowledge on this American talk show on Netflix called Patriot Act. Patriot Act helps me gain general knowledge beyond music and has especially taught me that most of us buy at least 60KG of clothes in a year on average, with at least 50% of them being used three times or less on an average just because we want to show off our new clothes on Instagram. You get to go at your own paceThe best thing about learning beyond your classroom and books? You get to choose how fast to go, when, how and what you want to learn. You won't feel like you are threatened and that rather, you will just enjoy learning. It's not that I will not learn from teachers. I will learn from them. But who I learn from, I am very picky about that. I do not learn from teachers who:
I think you'll get what makes a bad teacher in a student's perspective. You are learning more than your textbook knowledge... So be proud!Whatever you are learning, you should be proud that you are learning something new from out of your textbook! Be proud that you are gaining new knowledge. Whatever the knowledge is, it will take you a long way in life.
For those who do not know me well, I am biologically, half Indian and half Chinese. So, when I tell people that I am a Chindian (People who are of both Indian and Chinese heritage culturally), people would say that I look Malay most of the time because of my skin tone or my eyes and what not, God knows. As much as it seems exciting being the child of Inter-racial parents, there are struggles of being a Bi-racial child, which I think, not many people will understand. Struggling to be accepted by peopleIt is pretty obvious that a Bi-racial child will mostly face struggles culturally because they do not know which culture they should associate themselves with more. Sometimes, they have tried fitting into either cultures, but it doesn't work. Though I could call myself Indian, fortunately, I struggled socially. I struggled to fit in with different people who are ethnically Mono-racial, either Chinese or Indian because I kept the fact that I am an Inter-racial child in my head. In college, I would see Chinese kids that were too Chinese and I could not relate myself to them because they would speak in Chinese mostly and their preferences are more towards stuff that I am not familiar with. But then, when I tried fitting with Indian kids who were more Indian than me despite having a Singaporean accent, I would also struggle because again, their preferences were different from mine. It was hard for me to find someone who would be of the same wavelength as me. And then outside of my college, I would sometimes see other people and would try to fit in with them but, to no avail. I'd often struggle finding my own identity because I am a Bi-racial child. In terms of my taste and preferences culturally, I am a moderation of the Indian and several International cultures such as the Arab culture, the Western culture, Pakistani culture and many more. I love experiencing different cultures and want to have diversity in my life to make life more exciting. So, for me, in that sense, I would often struggle to be accepted by people, which makes me feel unloved and unaccepted. Sometimes, I feel like I am of no use to the people around me. It was hard for me to find people of similar mind sets and preferences. It only became easier now, but still, I would struggle until today. Really finding out which culture you belong toWhen I tell people that I am half Indian-half Chinese, people often tell me that I look Malay. Ok, first of all, I do not speak Malay. Secondly, where in the world do I look Malay? When most Indians tell me that I look Bengali and I tell them that I am not a Bengali and that I do not speak Bengali, they would find it hard to believe very often. But people, particularly the non-Indians, who would think that I look Malay would say it because apparently, my skin tone is that of a Malay person, as per their knowledge and my eyes are neither of that of an Indian nor a Chinese, again, as per their knowledge. Some say I look South Indian, some say Chinese... I mean... I ask myself, which culture can I actually associate myself to? I really feel like I have no identity and I wish that I would have one and that I have such an identity where I could fit in with everyone. Feeling ashamed about yourselfAs much as I love myself, sometimes... I do feel ashamed of myself. I ask myself, "If I was a Mono-racial child biologically, would life be easier for me? Maybe I would have an identity. Maybe I would have life the way I want it to be. I wish I was not a bi-racial child. I wish I could fit in with someone and have people who would accept me." So many of these thoughts run in my head and make me feel that life is sometimes, not worth living. Sometimes, I honestly do not know my own identity. Who I am, what I am, how I am... I just ask myself so many questions and they are often left unanswered. When Bi-racial children would tell themselves that if they were kids who were Mono-racial, they would have an identity. They would feel whenever they can't find an identity despite being Mono-racial, they at least have it easier for them to find their identity. Though, there were some people who made life worth living for me. There were Mono-racial kids who would accept Bi-Racial kids as they are and show them a new side to the world.
To my friends and the adults I know reading this, you know who you are and you know that I am referring to you. Thank you for making life a beautiful place for me. Thank you for accepting me for me. Thank you for showing me that I should have a reason to live and that I am worth it. Thank you for showing me that I am beautiful the way I am and that I need not change myself. Now, though I may have an identity as an Indian after hunting for it for years, I still struggle fitting in with different people. But, with you guys taking my struggles away, I know that there are compassionate and accepting people out there who just love you for you. The Mono-racial friends I have of different ethnicities ranging from European to Indian to Pakistani to Asian to Filipinos... Thank you for giving me my own identity. And to the adults I look up to, thank you for being my guide and making me a better person inside out. Thank you for making me feel like I am worth it. Ok, I am going to write about this today because some personal experiences have inspired me to write this. I believe that foreign exposure, whether it is travelling to another country or meeting people from a different country for instance, will help in:
Making you a more intellectual personI believe that having foreign exposure does make you more intellectual in certain senses such as increasing your general knowledge as you would be travelling to historical places of a certain place or maybe learning about how a certain sculpture of the place is made, but you get what I mean. Visiting a foreign place is like your classroom out of the classroom, and definitely I will share with you in my next Life post on why I prefer learning out of the book and classroom for my general knowledge. Broadens your mind and mind set as a wholeIt is not only travelling to another country that makes you more open minded as a whole, but it's also about the willingness to communicate and have friends from different countries, cultures and states. I have mixed with many people from different countries such as the United States of America, Canada, Hong Kong, Italy, Austria, Pakistan, India and many more and trust me, having friends from different countries has only made me a more open-minded person towards everything and everyone. Hardly any of my friends come from Singapore. In fact, I hardly have friends who are Singaporean by nationality because 70% of them I have seen or know at least, have very regressive and old school mentality, which does not work with me. Other than having the old school mentality, they try to fit in and be like the Americans. I can vouch that Americans are way more genuine, accepting and natural as people than at least 80% of the Singaporeans I know. And this is why I prefer having friends from foreign countries, though it's sad that the fun lasts for a short time. But at least I've made connections with people from different countries. So, whenever I travel, I won't be alone and I can meet them again! Other than that, I choose to have foreign friends as I feel that their life experiences or their life stories are very inspiring compared to MOST of the people I have seen here from Singapore. I want to be a better human being day by day and make myself the best as per my own measures and make my family and friends proud of me. I want them to think "I am glad that I am connected to Lillian." And, if I have Singaporean friends, it is people who do not have the old school mentality, who are mature, who are not fake, who accept people for who they are and more importantly, embrace diversity and learning. Honestly, with the current friend choices I have, 80%-85% foreigners and 10%-15% Singaporeans, I am proud of my choices because my friend choices have really inspired me to be a better person thanks to who they are, and that is being open-minded and adventurous. Makes your taste more international-basedI can tell you that having lots of foreign exposure definitely makes your taste more international. Let's say for instance, you were born and raised in a small town in India, let's say... Darjeeling (Small town in West Bengal, East India), ok? If you have spent your whole life in Darjeeling, you are bound to think the way Darjeeling people would think. You will only have knowledge from Darjeeling, being ignorant to other parts of West Bengal, India and the world. And, you may not be willing to learn other things. You may not be open to something new. You may have a narrow mentality. Or, let's say even if you have been in an exchange programme from let's say Thailand to the United States of America. If you choose to stick to Thai people from Thailand JUST BECAUSE you will feel more at home or you will feel more comfortable, rather than choose to step out of your comfort zone and mingle with people from different ethnicities and nationalities, I am sorry, you will still remain narrow-minded because you choose not to learn about how different people in different countries and cultures live their lives. A Thai person from America will be different from a Thai person from Thailand not just in terms of lifestyle, but mentality and preferences as well. Well, I'm not saying do not meet people from your country. Please do so, but also, keep an open mind and meet people of different ethnicities and nationalities as well. Teaches you what #UNITYINDIVERSITY is all about(Sorry Tommy [he is on Samer's back] and Samer, if you are reading this blog post, I want you to know that the moment captured above is one of the most beautiful moments I have seen that I just had to capture it on my phone! You guys are awesome. Stay amazing the way you are! I am blessed to have you guys in my life and you know how grateful I am to you all for making a positive impact in my life and being the candle to the darkness of my life) For me, I would say that my friends from the West have taught me what #UNITYINDIVERSITY actually means. It's not just about having friends from different ethnicities, but it is also truly accepting them for them and bonding over different things. While bonding with people of different ethnicities and nationalities, you will get to learn so many things about different cultures and you will find common things that you guys have with each other. It is not just about bonding over Cinema or Music, but you all can also bond over Travel, Politics, Sports or maybe Cars or Technology. Well, even mentality and personality preferences do play a part here as well. #UNITYINDIVERSITY also means experiencing different cultures and embracing the beauty of each culture. It's about accepting the African, Western, Indian, Pakistani, East Asian culture and many more cultures the way they are. Cultural diversity is what makes the world an exciting place to live in. Teaches you communication with different types of peopleFinally, this is one thing I want to highlight. Having foreign exposure definitely teaches you how to communicate with people of different ethnicities and nationalities.
How I would communicate with an Indian from India or an Indian from America would be different. Why? Because lifestyles are different, upbringing is different... There are so many things that are different between an Indian from India and an Indian from the United States of America. Whatever it is, I would barely use Singlish (English-based language in Singapore) to anybody, only because Singlish has degraded my English and possibly, Hindi grammar as well. Also, it is because most of my friends would not understand what the slang is all about and what they actually mean. This, in fact, makes it more difficult for people from different nationalities to understand what you are trying to say. Initially, I have never believed this saying. But this year, it has turned out true for me. At least. The kind of people you choose to be with does affect who you become as a person. I will tell you how this works for me at least. So, here above, you guys know my friends. You have seen them. I would say that I have grown into a better person because of them. They have taught me how to be more open-minded, adventurous, vibrant and what not... They taught me how to live life and what the meaning of life is. And after our #SUMMER2K17 got over, I started to realise that I enjoy their company a lot. I even miss them because of the good vibes they radiate out, the compassion they give to other people. So yeah, basically I have become a better person because of them. I started gaining the skill of making new friends because of them. I would say it is all thanks to them that my life became much better and I am grateful for that. I tried this one more time. I picked people who could vibe well with me and just get along well with me. The ones with the same openness, the same vibrancy that I like, the same genuine behaviour and the same positivity and all of that and again, I grew into a better person. I became more positive and I became more content with the people around me. And ever since then, I chose to be more careful about my circle of friends and made sure that I would pick people who would vibe well with me. I do not pick people who are wannabes, who are fake, who are negative and who try to please me. I love it when people are who they are. And if I don't like you for you, so be it. We can't get along, that's it. I don't like it when people try to force the impossible to become possible. So yeah, I like being with people:
And you get the kind of people I like from this list. So my tips of picking the right people for you is:
Even though I'm ethnically half Indian (I'm half Gujarati and half North Indian)-half Chinese, I am like a pure Indian at heart. People often mistake me to be from India, especially West Bengal, and that I look like a Bengali, is a compliment that makes me fly high inside out. Well, this is because I genuinely adore Bengali people from the bottom of my heart for their cultured personality, their intelligence and the way they take the arts very passionately. But, there are other states and cultures that I adore very much and that stay close to my heart. Here are the states and cultures that are close to my heart and that runs in my blood. West Bengal & the Bengali Culture (East India)Half of my fashion inspiration comes from Bengali people, which is basically derived from the Bengali culture. In fact, whenever I wear Indian clothes, especially the way I don my Bindi and my Indian clothes, people often have the impression that I am a Bengali. Especially with my facial features, they often mistake me to be from either West Bengal (Most people) or that I am a mixture of being a Bengali and a North Indian culturally... These kind of comments made to me just makes me fly high inside out. In fact, I feel so much depth and connection to the Bengali culture. I went for the Bengali Durga Puja last year and I fell in love with the Bengali culture. How women donned the bindi and pleated their saree and carry it off with so much elegance just makes me fall in love with the Bengali culture even more. I love Bengali food as well, especially their sweets. Mishti Doi is one of my favourite dishes of all-time! Maharashtra & the Marathi Culture (West India)Bengali women are like that of Maharashtrian women. Sharp facial features, rooted to their culture and have a standard bindi, which is the crescent bindi or having a small black line with a black dot below the black line, which is another standard of the Marathi bindi. I love the language as well and I am a Gujarati who originates from Maharashtra, not Gujarat (Long story). In fact, I love their Nauvari sarees as their way of draping the 9-yard-saree is unique. Just like how West Bengal has their unique way of draping the 9-yard-saree, Maharashtra has that as well. North Indian States (Uttar Pradesh, Punjab etc.) & the North Indian CultureI am partially a North Indian and even though I'm not entirely North Indian, I can totally connect to the festivals from the North. Other than festivals, I love North Indian food and North Indian cuisine is one of my favourite cuisines in the world. I am also in love with the North Indian Bridal attire and the colours of North India. North India is just so vibrant and colourful and I feel that is how I am by nature. Kerala & the Malayalam culture (South India)Kerala is definitely a lot like West Bengal, but in their own way. What are the things that Malayalis and Bengalis have in common?
Rajasthan & the Rajasthani culture (West India)I visit Rajasthan very often and I adore Rajasthan for the colours of the state and the vibrancy it gives out. Rajasthan is very famous for their culture and the deserts. I would definitely recommend foreigners to visit this state. Rajasthan is also very strong on Rajput culture. Gujarat & the Gujarati culture (West India)Being partially a Gujarati, I can say that the Gujarati culture is similar to that of Rajasthan, but not the same. How are they similar?
Though one thing Gujarat has that Rajasthan does not, and that is Dandiya. Telangana, Andhra Pradesh & the Telugu culture (South India)I am in love with the Telugu culture and Kuchipudi. Sandhya Raju, a Kuchipudi dancer from Hyderabad, makes Kuchipudi look so beautiful because of the way she dances. She has so much grace while she dances and definitely you'll fall in love with her, the dance form and the culture as a whole. I am also in love with the Tirupati temple, located in Andhra Pradesh, South India with the spirituality it offers to devotees. I am a spiritual Hindu who believes in doing as many good as possible and standing up for the people who are right at all times.
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